Journal January Entry 17: Effort

Journal January — Day 17

Prompt: If you could protect one thing about your life more fiercely this year, what would it be?

My effort.

Not my time in the abstract, and not my kindness, but the actual energy I give to things and people. The part of me that shows up prepared, thoughtful, and fully invested.

For a long time, I treated my effort as an unlimited resource. I gave it generously, often automatically, and rarely asked whether it was being met with care or respect. I wanted to be reliable. Supportive. Present. I believed that if I just tried harder — communicated better, anticipated needs faster, gave more grace — things would work themselves out.

What I’ve learned is that effort, when unprotected, becomes self-erasure.

This year, I want to be there for people, but not at the expense of myself. I don’t want to pour from a place of depletion or obligation. I want my effort to be intentional, reciprocal, and aligned. I want it to be something I choose, not something I give away out of fear of disappointing others.

Protecting my effort doesn’t mean becoming unavailable or closed off. It means being discerning. It means recognizing that my energy is valuable, and that where I place it shapes the life I’m building.

I can care deeply without overextending. I can support others without abandoning myself. I can show up fully without showing up everywhere.

This year, my effort is not up for grabs.

It’s something I’m learning to give with clarity, and to protect with equal conviction.